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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Most Unrealistic Action Scenes Of All-Time.

We may love it, but we are not naïve enough to believe it.

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle- Helicopter Scene
In this awesome action flick, the three ladies do some unreal stuff. But it was almost too unreal when these girls drove a huge flatbed off a bridge and while falling, jumped into a helicopter, started it up and flew away. This was somehow all done mid-air. I don’t believe physics would agree with the director.

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom of Crystal Skull: The Fridge Scene
Indiana Jones can get out of any pickle. Thought when he finds himself in a nuclear bomb testing zone, Jones jumps into an old refrigerator and manages to survive the blast as the nuke thankfully just throws the fridge beyond the blast radius, leaving Indy without a scratch.

Live Free Or Die Hard: The Fighter Jet Scene
While John McClane is the man, it was pretty ridiculous that he was able to defeat a high-tech fighter jet with nothing but a truck. Also, did they find the most horrible shot ever to fly this plane? He has target guided missiles yet can’t hit an 18 wheeler.

The A-Team- The Tank Scene
Though this entire film is unrealistic, it is quite enjoyable. They took many liberties with this film. But when they have the team plummet from a plane inside a military tank, they go too far. The Tank is held up only by a parachute. The A-Team then decides to fire the main cannon in order to adjust its descent.

Speed- Bus Jump Scene
In this gravity defying scene, a bus driving only 60 MPH makes a jump over a huge gap in the interstate. With no incline or ramp whatsoever, the bus seemingly is pulled up into mid-air as it miraculously makes the jump. Mythbusters disproved this as being physically possible; though I am pretty sure I could have told you that.

2 Fast 2 Furious- Boat Landing
This won’t be the first scene from this franchise. At the end of the film, the two stars are in pursuit of the villain who has run off in his yacht. To catch him, the two heroes jump their car into the boat. The jump is timed perfectly and instead of crashing into the boat, it simply crunches on top of the boat as the two  emerge without a scratch.

Die Another Day- Tidal Wave Surfing Scene
Even if you ignore the rocket car, gigantic ice hotel, and deadly space laser, this 'Die Another Day' scene is still ridiculous. James Bond finds himself dangling from the edge of a cliff and devises a unique means of escape. Using the rocket car's parachute and engine cover, he surfs away to safety on a gigantic tidal wave. If that wasn't bad enough, the entire scene is done with terrible CGI.

Mr. And Mrs. Smith- Tool Shed Scene
With an army of assassins around them, the two lover assassins hide in a tool shed. For some reason, the assassins didn’t shoot the crap out of a wood shed. Then as the couple emerges shooting, these trained assassins all miss horribly at a couple coming out of a 3 foot doorway. Wow!

Fast Five- The Safe Runaway
And we are back. In this awesome yet ridiculous scene. The  two heroes hook up a seemingly huge and heavy vault to the back of two reinforced Ford Mustangs and then proceed to drive the safe through the streets of Rio. This is not possible for anyone planning a heist. And the fact that these cars didn’t rip apart is laughable.

Cliffhanger- Plane Transfer
There's a major scene in 'Cliffhanger' where people transfer from one plane to another mid-flight. This scene was done by a real-life stuntman, so it's surprisingly realistic. However, things go wrong when a man fires a single machine gun and absolutely tears apart the second plane despite being hundreds of feet away in the air.

'Shoot 'Em Up' was solely created for the purpose of being over the top, but that doesn't excuse it from this list. There are a number of scenes that defy reality, but the sex scene is especially ridiculous. The main character is getting it on when the bad guys show up and start shooting at them. Rather than allowing their love-making session to get interrupted, he grabs his gun and starts firing back as they roll around the room.

Commando- Entire Film
Pity the fool-hardy faceless drones of Val Verde. They definitely didn't sign up for this, being butchered indiscriminately by John Matrix, who's turned up looking for his kidnapped daughter, "Chenny". After making a splash playing an indestructible robot who can single-handedly massacre a police force, Arnie opted for the crowd-pleasing option, playing an indestructible elite Special Forces type who can massacre an entire army. Still, given that he does a lot of this standing perfectly upright, without cover, just pumping out bullets, suggests that maybe the aim-retarded morons of Val Verde had it coming to them.

True Lies- Missile Shot
The film did overreach itself somewhat, though, in its final ten minutes, as Arnold Schwarzenegger took to the skies in a Harrier Jump Jet. Having snagged wild-eyed terrorist Aziz (Art Malik) on the pointier section of a Sidewinder missile, Arnie issues forth one of his stirring one-liners (“You’re fired!”) and launches both bad guy and missile through the side of a building and straight into a waiting helicopter.

Transporter 2- Bomb Scene
There are some movie sequences that steam straight through implausibility and straight into the realms of chuckle-inducing madness. Jason Statham’s Transporter and Crank movies are jam packed full of them, but if we had to choose just one, it has to be the moment in Transporter 2, where Statham manages to do a spot of bomb disposal while driving at what appears to be 600 miles per hour.
Hurtling along in a glistening Audi A8, Statham has mere seconds before the evil Lola (Kate Nauta) detonates a bomb strapped to the car’s undercarriage. Statham, extraordinarily skilled as he is, drives up a conveniently placed ramp, flicking the car upside-down, and manages to snag the bomb on a waiting crane hook. The Audi then continues on its 360-degree barrel roll, before landing neatly back on its wheels like a gymnast dismounting a pommel horse.

1 comment:

  1. Nice read. Maybe a little more detail on why or how the scenes were unrealistic would of made it better